Questions

This morning, when I arrived at work, I discovered the tragic news of a co-worker that had lost the baby girl she had been carrying. Laura was 6 months along and completely thrilled about this little bundle she was carrying. She had started to decorate her room and sew things for her. They had already named her Ava. Laura had commented last week about the baby not moving as much and she was a little concerned. She made an appointment with the doctor to check the baby's heartbeat. When she got to her appointment yesterday, there was no heartbeat. The doctor induced labor last night and she had to deliver the baby girl she will never get to know.

I was reduced to tears this morning when I heard about it. The news made me stop and think about the fact that I was right where she was, 6 months along, last July. I don't know how I would have dealt with such horrible news. The thought of never being able to know Lilly killed me. What would I have done if I had never been able to stare into those beautiful blue eyes and have her look back at me with wonder? What if I had never been able to hear her laugh? What if I had never heard her cry at 3 o'clock in the moring?

I then began to question why such heartwrenching things happen to such good people. I have known Laura since I began teaching at New Holland in 2007. Brad has worked with her husband for several years at Wrigley's. They are what you would call "good people". They work hard everyday, have an 8 year old son, and decided they were ready for another child. They created her with love and the intention of raising her to be good person.

Why then, does God allow people like them to experience such pain and hurt and allow others to bear 6 and 7 children they can't possibly care for? As a teacher, I love each and every one of my "babies". I try to give them all the love that I can while they are at school because I know how little the receive at home every evening. I even have one child whose mother told DFACS that they could take him because she didn't want him anymore. I had another child, last year, whose mother knew her boyfriend was raping her 5 and 7 year old daughters. How are people like that able to conceive so easily? It is not that I don't think those children should never have been created. I'm glad that every one of them is on this planet but they don't deserve to live in the environments they live in. It breaks my heart daily to see these beautiful children, who deserve so much better, put on a brave smile at school, the only place they feel safe, knowing what they will go home to that afternoon.

Brad and I know way too many people that desperately want children and have struggled for years to concieve. They have stable jobs, loving homes and the means to provide for a baby, yet they are not blessed with one. Or, they are only blessed with one after thousands of dollars have been spent.

I know this is an extremely old complaint and question but it bothers me tremendously. I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones. I was one of those unwanted babies, but my mother had enough sense and love to give me to another family that could provide for me. Through that adoption I have been blessed beyond belief, I'm not sure anyone else on this planet has a family as amazingly strong as mine.

So, I'm not sure what this has turned into but it has been therapeutic. Look at this as my rally for adoption, a question for God, a way to greive for my friend and a chance to reflect on what we as a society can do to help children like those in my school.